Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
