I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
