Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
