your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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