I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
