He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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