i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
