Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
