New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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