i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
