She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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