Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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