ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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