You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
