I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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