It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
