You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
