Having a random hookup so left but love u
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
