I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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