I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
