Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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