he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
