i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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