In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
