What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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