this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
