and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
