Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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