direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
