what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
