just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
