she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize