i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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