I smell stomach acid.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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