Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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