she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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