I puked a lego.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
