I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
