gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
