Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
