Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
