The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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