those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
