I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
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