Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
