I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
