I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
