Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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