so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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