A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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