Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
