all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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